This week isn’t my week at work. Which is fine. I’m sure my focus will come back again another week, and leave again, and come back again, and leave again. It’s just the way it is and has been ever since I started this job. Tuesday, I went home early. Snuck out when my boss went to the bathroom. Wednesday I “worked from home”. Sometimes I do actually work when I’m home, but this Wednesday I went to the gym, bought new hiking boots and went shopping for Saint-Paddy’s day props. (I am so ready for it: green hairspray, green glasses, green hat, bubbles and glowsticks.) Yesterday, again, I left early when my boss happened to be out. I went home to do some gardening. It’s starting to feel like spring!
Now I don’t want to sound like an awful person who doesn’t do what she gets payed for. I’m sure all of this sort of time-off will come back to bite me in the behind and I’ll spend many of my supposed-to-be-free weekends and evenings on the dissertation when I get to year 4. (And I will try not to complain when that happens, yes, it’s my own fault.) I do keep going to the office most mornings just in case The Focus has returned, but for now, I simply don’t feel like it.
So today I have been trying to find ways to keep myself occupied: not working but not being bored. I can’t go home early because I am meeting friends in town after work. So I have to keep pretending until 5pm. Now, I share an office with 8 people. They are hardly ever all here, usually it’s just my boss and me and the occasional come-and-goer. My boss and I are sat opposite of each other, which means we can’t see each other’s screens but we can see each other’s facial expressions. So no watching funny youtube videos because they make me giggle.
Behind me, there’s is the other professor who is often here. So if I don’t want him to see what I’m doing, I have to hide my browser in the bottom right corner of my screen and make it tiny. That way my head covers it up. As soon as someone gets up, I swipe left and the article I am supposed to be reading comes up. I am telling myself no one has a clue.
So what have I been up to today? I browsed some online shops for the perfect anniversary present for the boyfriend. Next month, we will have been together for two years 😀 I have a pretty genius idea for a surprise, but I’m still deciding exactly what and … Well, I don’t want to say too much because he’ll probably read this. (Last time I told him not to read my next post it was the first thing he did.) I also read almost every article on the news website, scrolled down Facebook an infinite amount of times, tried to chat with some friends but turns out my friends are actually working. They are good people. I studied the map of the Zoo in detail, we are going this weekend and I figured I could use some preparation. (Yes, you’re right. Preparing for the Zoo sounds and is ridiculous, but it was a perfect way to pass the hour before lunch, thank you very much.)
The last hour I’ve been googling about Sims 4. You see, I am a big fan of Sims. Hmm maybe not necessarily a fan. I think the word “addict” would suit me better. There is no such thing as a moderate amount of Simming. I wish there was. But there isn’t. Yes, I spend too much time on it. And afterwards I look cross-eyed and I feel a bit crazy. But ow boy can it be fun! I’ve been thinking about blogging about it but I don’t want to scare readers away. I know it might be a bit weird to be so enthusiastic about the Sims, I’m supposed to be a grown-up. But am I? And now thanks to this overly unproductive day at work, I have a thousand new ideas of things to try! New plants to graft, secret locations to unlock, and I still have to finish that awesome house I was building.
But from all the ways I can secretly not work at work, I’m afraid Simming isn’t one of them. I’ll continue wasting my time in more subtle ways for the next hour and a half.